Wonderful News

I'm still a little high from today's news and the drugs, but I didn't want to wait another minute to post this one. Here is the news I've been waiting to hear for over a year: my liver is clear!! I thought my heart was going to leap out of my chest. I couldn't hardly say a word to my doctor though. He was really excited. We were too, but me and my husband pretty much just looked at each other, stunned. It was an awesome stunned feeling - better than last year's stunned feeling when we learned the disease was out of control and had spread to my liver.

Now on to the next steps. I will remain in weekly treatment with the same drugs for the next three months. I'm currenlty on Taxol as the chemo drug, and Zometa to stregthen my bones. My doctor stopped the Avastin when the surgical incision on my leg re-opened. The FDA is pulling Avastin from breast cancer patients anyway, so I wasn't surprised when my doctor said I would probably never go back on it. After three months, I will get scanned again to ensure my bone mets are still stable. Last year I had spots in my femur, spine and lumber, skull, and one of my ribs. Hopefully the mets will continue to improve. If so, I can stop weekly chemo and go on tamoxifen, which is a daily pill.

To be honest, I have mixed emotions about all of this. I am THRILLED to be getting better and I give God top credit for this. I wouldn’t have made it if I didn't have my Christian faith to sustain me. However, going to weekly treatment makes me feel safe too. Once it stops, I'm worried that it will just come back. My kind of cancer may never completely go away. Bone mets can improve and stabilize so they don't spread or get worse, but they may never completely disappear. When I start worrying, I just pray. I also rememeber the words that my oncologist has said even when I was at my very worst. Breast cancer has LOTS of treatment options that can extend my life by several years. I need to remember to live one day at a time and savor every moment, thanking God for all of my blessings.

Happy New Year!

A new year is here and I'm full of hope. Last year was the most challenging, scariest, and best year of my life. That may sound weird, but my eyes are wide open and I'm closer to God than ever. My faith gets stronger every day as God heals my body and dulls my pain.

This year, my only resolution is to live every day like it is my last and thank God for every second of it. Every day is a good day. Maybe the entire day isn't fabulous, but for the most part, it's great and I'm thrilled to be a part of it. Last January I wasn't even sure I would make to my birthday (May), much less live to see another Christmas or January.

I hope that if anyone is reading, I can inspire you just a little to go out and live your life. Don't live in fear or anger. Just ask God to lead you and get out there. None of us is guaranteed tomorrow.