Hello Vanity

I knew I would have these feelings eventually...I miss my old body. I feel petty because I'm so thankful that I'm getting better. However, jealousy and anger creep in at times. Don't get me wrong - I wasn't totally buff and hot before I got sick, but at least I had both breasts and looked normal - yeah, there's that word again, haha. Anyway, me and my husband went out to dinner last night and two really attractive women came into the restaurant as we were finishing our dessert. They were wearing tight shirts and short-shorts. Both of them had the type of body that can get away with that kind of stuff. I rolled my eyes before I could even control myself. My husband quickly made fun of their hair saying that "the eighties called and want their hair back..." My husband always knows just what to say to make me laugh, even if it's mean, haha.

I had another "episode" a few weeks ago when we went to the JC mall. I used to LOVE going to Victoria's Secret. Their "Body by Victoria" bras are awesome. Well, all I wanted to do when I walked by was gripe about how much space one stupid store took up in the mall, and did they really have to take up a whole corner and most of the adjacent hallway? I quickly turned that anger around by getting an email ready to them regarding putting "pockets" in some of their bras. Some women like to add extra padding to their bras to get the push-up effect. If the pockets were made big enough, I could put my prosthesis in and wear my favorite bras again! I wonder how they will respond to my suggestion? Maybe it will be a big hit!

Oh well, for the most part missing a breast isn't really a big deal. I don't even notice most of the time. When I'm well enough, I may not even go for reconstruction. I may just have the other one removed and then I won't need a bra at all. Hmm, that might be a good thing!! :o)

Getting Stronger Every Day!!

I see my oncologist or nurse practitioner every few weeks, usually before chemo. Once a month, they check my tumor marker number. Well, on Tuesday it was 41!!! I feel better all the time and I know I'm going to beat this. I will not let cancer get to me no matter what. The power of prayer is amazing. If anyone out there feels alone or worries that God has forgotten them, never fear! God is always there - watching, protecting, and loving. Trust in Him completely and great things will happen.