Hair!!

My husband is enjoying the iPod Touch I got him for his birthday several months ago, and I can always tell when he’s downloading music. It’s usually pretty loud in the office bedroom, and I always get cracked up listening to him sing along to all of the music. A few weeks ago, he was downloading stuff from the Hair soundtrack and it made me think of hair in general.

My hair hasn’t been longer than a few inches in almost four years. Overall, I really don’t mind, because I can wash my wig at night, then put it on in the morning, run a comb through it, and be good to go in about a minute or less. My current wig has gotten a lot of compliments and I appreciate that. It makes me feel good to look somewhat normal, despite everything that’s going on. I still have hang-ups about it though. Last year, they took new photo ID pictures at work and I wouldn’t let them take my picture. The picture on my ID is pre-sick Amy, and I had a fresh from the hairdresser style. I hate having my picture made anyway, so I don’t really have a lot of pictures of me with that style and color. So when I miss the old me, I look at that photo ID for a few seconds and try to remember what it was like to be healthy. I won’t even change my driver’s license picture. I just renew my license online and keep the old picture from 2005.

Vanity always finds ways to creep in and make me feel bad about myself. I’ve never been beautiful, but before I got sick when I put some effort into it, I could look nice. Now, I have to put a LOT of effort into it, and I still hobble around like a 95 year old woman. Now the statement I’m getting ready to write may make people mad, but I don’t mean it in an ugly way. I don’t ever wish for anyone to be sick or to suffer. But I do believe that every woman should experience losing her hair at least once. Losing my hair really changed me. I used to be so obsessed with my cut and color, and I went every six weeks, no matter what. I spent over a hundred dollars on a CHI flat iron and special flat iron hairspray so I could spend a half hour every morning straightening my supposed “frizzy” hair. I bought special shampoos and styling gels/sprays and kept styling products in my car, desk, and purse, just in case I needed a touch up. But you know what? With all of that grooming, I rarely got compliments on my hair. My wig has gotten many more compliments over the past year than my real hair received during a lifetime.

Please take my word for it. It’s just hair. It will grow back, no matter what you do to it. Cut it off, shave it off, dye it blue, who cares? In the grand scheme of things, who gives a shit, right? I'm willing to bet money that some people might not even notice LOL.